You Are the One You've Been Waiting For
A reflection on self-trust, burnout recovery and women's wellbeing coaching in New Zealand
By Rosenda Upton, Founder of Cultivate You, Trauma-informed Life, Health and Mental Wellbeing Coach
Have you ever come home from an event thinking, “That went well, right?”
Everyone laughed. You smiled. You said the right things.
You played the part. You “fit in.”
But later, lying in bed, that squirm in your belly crept in.
A dull ache of unease you couldn’t explain.
You know that squirm. A vague discomfort.
The one that sneaks in when you laugh at something that wasn’t actually funny, just to keep the peace. Or when someone makes a comment that doesn’t sit right, and instead of speaking up, you stay quiet. These moments might seem small, but they’re not. They’re micro-abandonments, tiny ways we override our truth to be liked, to stay safe, to not be “too much.”
And before you can even name it, life speeds back up.
The school schedule needs sorting
The dog needs a vet visit
Dinner needs cooking
Work deadlines are looming
Groceries run low
Laundry piles
Phone buzzes
Life. Keeps. Moving.
And once again, your true feelings get pushed aside.
Just like that sore shoulder. That foggy brain. That aching back.
Until they flare up again - louder, stronger - begging for your attention.
Your Body Is Speaking: The Link Between Mental Health and Physical Wellness
As a women’s mental health and wellbeing coach in New Zealand, I see this pattern time and time again.
Your body is always talking to you.
And if your emotional stress and mental fatigue aren’t acknowledged, expressed or released, they will show up physically.
Because your physical health and mental health are deeply connected.
They are not separate. They are one and the same.
The Cost of Shrinking: Why Burnout Happens
As women, we’ve been conditioned to believe that our worth lies in how much we keep the peace.
In how easily we make others feel comfortable.
In how little space we take up.
Of course, we want people to feel safe and seen in our presence.
But not at the cost of our own truth.
Not if it means we shrink, shut down or betray our values.
We’ve been praised for being agreeable.
But the truth is, when we abandon ourselves, we all lose.
You Are the One You’ve Been Waiting For: Burnout Recovery Starts With Self-Trust
This is the mission that drives my work as a trauma-informed health and mental wellbeing coach.
To remind women – especially busy women, mothers, caregivers and professionals – that:
✨ You are the one you’ve been waiting for.
✨ You hold the answers you seek.
✨ You know what is best for you.
I help women take back the driver’s seat of their life.
To move from autopilot to aligned.
From burnt out to connected.
Not in a checkbox way.
But in a way that rebuilds trust in self.
That invites joy, embodiment and true connection.
Why Sisterhood Heals: The Power of Women Gathering
There’s something sacred that happens when women gather.
Without comparison. Without competition. Just truth.
When one woman speaks from her heart, others exhale and whisper, “Me too.”
In that moment, we remember our strength.
This is why I’ve joined with two incredible women to co-create two women’s wellness retreats at the idyllic Mangaroa Farms, Upper Hutt, Wellington, New Zealand.
Spaces of restoration, reflection and realignment.
Spaces where:
You don’t have to perform
Your truth is welcomed
You come home to yourself
Because when one woman rises in self-trust, we all rise with her.
Are You Ready to Come Home to Yourself? Join Our Women’s Retreats in Wellington
If this message resonated with you, you’re not alone. You don’t have to navigate it alone either.
I’ve co-created two beautiful day retreats for women in Aotearoa designed to offer the space, sisterhood and support you may be craving.
These are sacred spaces to pause, reflect and reconnect. To remember who you are beneath the noise.
Being & Belonging – 24 May, Mangaroa Farms
Winter Solstice Retreat – 21 June, Mangaroa Farms
Come as you are. Leave feeling nourished, seen and deeply reconnected.
→ Visit the Retreats page on my website to find out more
