Honouring where we are at
A personal reflection
By Rosenda Upton, Founder of Cultivate You, Trauma-informed Life, Health and Mental Wellbeing Coach
Lately, life has asked me to pause.
The sudden loss of a loved one has taken me into a depth of grief I haven’t known before. A grief that moves through my body like waves. There’s no roadmap for this kind of loss, only an inner whisper asking for softness and stillness.
Grief has been my teacher lately, but so has compassion. I’m learning to trust that honouring where we are can be the most life-giving thing we do.
And so, I’ve chosen to listen.
The old version of me, the one who would’ve pushed through, kept performing, kept pleasing, kept showing up for everyone else first, still tries to speak. She says, “Rosenda, you should be doing more.” She worries bout disappointing others and letting people down. But I no longer hand her the reins.
The woman I am now knows that rest is not indulgent. It’s intelligent. It’s protective. It’s a form of radical self-respect.
Over the last few weeks, I’ve hit pause on many things. Programmes, retreats, online content. I’ve cancelled events that no longer feel aligned and others that I simply didn’t have capacity for. I’ve let go of the pressure to be “on.” At home, I’ve cocooned, gently saying no to big social gatherings and choosing deep connection with grieving family and a few trusted souls.
Some days, I feel okay. Some days, I don’t. But I no longer force myself to bounce back or mask what’s real. I honour what’s here. I meet myself with compassion.
This version of me, the one who preserves energy for where it’s needed most, my family, my beautiful clients, and being present for the people who truly need me, is the most grounded, most honest version I’ve ever been.
As a recovering people-pleaser and perfectionist, I know how loud the inner critic can get when life cracks open. But now, I have the tools to notice, name, and neutralise. I gently unhook from those thoughts and return to what I need.
It feels empowering.
And while I’ve stepped back from many offerings this season, there is one thing I said a full-hearted yes to: the upcoming retreat with Melanie from Poet Botanicals.
Maybe because it’s the one I most want to attend myself.
A restorative day.
In nature.
With women.
With breath, intention, cacao, and ceremony.
A space to reflect, to activate the senses, to be held, to shed what no longer serves, and to gently remember who we are beneath the noise.
If you’re craving that too - stillness, slowness, space to restore - this retreat is for you.
What to expect
The day will begin in the cosy lounge of Woodcote at Mangaroa Farms, where we’ll come together as a group to settle in, and set our intentions for the day.
You’ll then take a sensory journey into the world of natural scent, discovering the beauty of essential oils and their therapeutic qualities. You’ll be guided by Melanie of Poet Botanicals to design your own signature scent, serving as a keepsake of what resonates with you on the day as we reflect on the theme of nurture, rest and restore. You’ll make a beautiful aromatherapy candle scented with your blend to take home.
We’ll then pause to enjoy a nourishing home-made lunch made from Mangaroa Farms produce and other local producers.
After lunch you have the option of going on a nature walk around the beautiful surrounds of Mangaroa Farms, guided by your hosts Rosenda and Melanie - or you can remain at Woodcote and take advantage of the sauna, rest or read - whatever you feel like at the time.
To close our day, we gather in ceremony, a sacred space to come home to self. Guided by Rosenda, you’ll be invited into a heart-opening cacao ritual. This time of year calls us inward to pause, reflect and gently shed what no longer serves us.
Then, surrounded by candlelight and the warmth of community, we’ll sit in circle, allowing cacao’s nourishing qualities to ground us in our bodies and awaken our hearts.
This is a space for reflection, rest and gentle release.
Through breath, journaling and intention, you’ll be supported to:
honour what’s been
release what’s ready to go
and call in what you are ready to embody in this new cycle ahead
Together we co-create a moment of stillness and soul, a ritual of reconnection that invites you to leave feeling restored, nurtured and deeply nourished.
